Jesus Finds Paul in Heaven

An underlying murmur of voices and low singing formed a background sound. Throngs of people created the space itself as they were without limits. There was a busyness but a content busyness; nobody really had any duties, yet nobody was bored from naught to accomplish. It was the serenity that was most noteworthy. Stillness. Tranquillity. Peace.

Yeshua pushed resolutely through the crowds, disturbing none although a path miraculously appeared between the people to allow him passage. There seemed to be a distinct golden glow surrounding his head and body, distinguishing him from all others. Yeshua’s focus was fixed on a distant figure who was the depiction of confidence as he spoke to his sizeable and besotted audience. Yeshua’s face looked thunderous, which wasn’t his usual demeanour, and the heavens were suddenly shattered by his booming voice, ‘Paul!’

Upon hearing his name, Paul abandoned his congregation immediately. He turned to run from the approaching Yeshua, but his body lacked the same ability to part the assembled people thus disallowing a hasty getaway. Paul’s face grimaced in trepidation as he felt Yeshua’s firm hand upon his shoulder from behind. He cleared his face into charming obsequiousness as he turned to face Yeshua, bowing his head slightly and whispering, ‘Lord Jesus, long have I waited for this day to come. I am so thrilled you have finally found me again after all these generations.’

‘Saul, Paul, you have long hidden from me. Thousands of years, in fact,’ Yeshua’s face remained impassioned at Paul’s attempt to placate him, ‘And what do you mean “again”? We have never met.’

‘My Lord, on the road to Damascus after you were killed. All the bright light. I was blind for three days until Ananias healed me.’ Paul eyes cast downward as he lost confidence, ‘I…I…I thought it was you.’

Yeshua was unwavering in his obvious contempt of Paul. ‘It was not me. It couldn’t have been me. I was off with the disciples convincing them I was alive again, which was no easy feat; it took me forty days. I certainly didn’t have time to visit you in the middle of nowhere.’ Yeshua’s expression softened ever so slightly at Paul’s crestfallen face and clear discomfort at this conversation. Fortunately, Paul’s embarrassment was limited to Yeshua’s audience as those people previously nearby had seemingly dissipated, although their lilting tunes could still be heard. This musical worship frequently calmed Yeshua. ‘Paul, you had flash blindness from looking at the sun out there. This exacerbated your cataracts. Ananias was called to merely remove the scales from your eyes because you’d lost the ability to eat and drink in your blindness.’

‘Oh,’ Paul answered meekly. It was the most insignificant he’d ever felt in his life and in his death. He had spent almost two thousand years celebrating the growth of the Christian church and his own role in it. Glory be to God! He decided to verbalise this in the hopes Yeshua would be appeased, ‘Glory be to Christ!’ Paul could not have anticipated the reaction this would provoke in Yeshua.

‘Don’t you give me the “Glory be to Christ” rendition!’ Yeshua’s golden glow turned almost scarlet in his sudden furore. ‘Do you have any idea what your proselytising has done? Do you even remotely understand the mixed messages in the world now?’ Yeshua repeatedly waggled his index figure in Paul’s face as he admonished via a rant of epic proportions, ‘The biblical gospels were poorly recorded, at best, but at least most people have blended them together, so their contradictions are missed. But you! You didn’t quote me at all in any of your letters. Just talked about me a bit. You embarked on a mission to convert the Gentiles, but I’d never said anything about that. Peter tried to warn you that you were off track, but, oh no! you were too smart for the disciples. You appointed yourself as an apostle and made out your version of events was better than the gospel being spread by my chosen twelve. You had never even met me! The disciples knew my message and you did not. You claimed you’d met me after I died to improve your own credibility. And we both know that didn’t happen now, don’t we?!’ Yeshua continued unabated, ‘A rich man asked me how he could enter the kingdom of heaven. Do you know what my answer was? Clearly you didn’t, because you didn’t give the same answer as me! I said, follow the Jewish commandments and give all your riches to the poor and needy. What did you say? Nothing even remotely similar! Oh no! You told everyone that the law didn’t matter and all you had to do was believe that I had died to take on everyone’s sins. That’s not even close to the same thing! It’s a wonder we’ve got anyone here at all!’ Yeshua paused to get a breath, gesturing around him. His surrounding light dimmed somewhat to a dark orange during this hesitation. Paul dared not interrupt and Yeshua extended his diatribe, ‘How everyone didn’t pick up on that mistake is beyond me. Lucky for you! Additionally, Jewish law didn’t need to have a human sacrifice because we already had an annual Day of Atonement. The two goats: the sacrificed and the scapegoat. How did you forget about that?!’ Yeshua stretched out both his arms replicating his own crucifixion to Paul, ‘Do you think I was nailed up there saying, “Oh, well, this has gone swimmingly. Father has solved everything now.” No, of course, I wasn’t! I didn’t know I was going to be killed. Nobody did. No messiah dies! Name a messiah that dies, Paul. Go on. Give me a name. Any name.’

Paul was barely audible in his response, ‘You, my lord. You’re unique now. Jesus Christ is the known messiah all over the world.’

Yeshua’s face changed perceptibly. This was an undeniable and significant fact. Despite Paul’s obvious Damascus Road deception and misinterpretation of almost all doctrine, his resurrection tale had redeemed Christ as an eternal messiah. Yeshua’s rage was immediately assuaged, ‘I forgive you, Paul. You did not know what you were doing.’

‘Thank you, my Lord.’

Yeshua placed his arm around Paul’s shoulders and pulled him into the proximity of his now-returned-to-golden glow, ‘Do you know the one thing we both got wrong?’ Paul looked at Yeshua with a questioning look, not daring to guess incorrectly. Yeshua glanced around to ensure their isolation. ‘We both thought the world was going to end in our lifetimes. Ha! Nobody gives the best advice when they think the end is nigh. Whoops! Neither of us at our best on that. Nobody’s noticed, however. We both got away with that one.’

Yeshua and Paul laughed together, and Yeshua’s aura seemed to now encompass Paul.