the karen bible
The holy bible is merely an old text. As a manuscript, it contains no inherent meaning. It is the interpretation of it that gives meaning to people.
We all know the greatest character missing from the bible, don’t we? A Karen. And Karen Christ at that!
So, the best stories of the bible can only be sourced from the karen version. The karen version recognises bible stories for their craziness and adapts them for the modern world.
The karen bible aims to provide entertainment at the expense of holiness. There’s no Karen Christ without blasphemy and there’s no great biblical stories in the karen version without Karen Christ’s irreverent adaptation of them.
The karen bible doesn’t stop with the published bible books either. Karen Christ writes about the stories that carried on after the bible was published.
Karenity: United Spirit of Karen
Karenity: United Spirit of Karen is an unincorporated association whose fundamental aim is to celebrate the unity of spirit of those who bear the proper noun, Karen, and the ongoing pursuit to uphold their power, success, capability, personality, opportunity, and resilience.
We look forward to when Karenity has the supporters that allow us to be recognised as a bonafide religion. This would then allow Karenity missionaries to proselytise, convert and generally disturb people in their day to day life.
People might think Karens are bothersome and annoying but we have so much more to give.
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Yes, of course we have one but it doesn’t fit here. Write a letter to the manager if you really want to read this boring document. There’s still no guarantee you’ll receive it as Karens prioritise differently to everyone else.
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Our missionaries are hidden in plain sight and at every site. In fact, they don’t even know they’re proselytising. Whenever there’s someone asking for the manager, they’re doing our mission work.
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Embrace your inner Karen and stop denying its existence. Ask for a manager occasionally or give disapproving looks for no reason. You can do it. If you need assistance to engage your inner Karen, contact our manager. There’s no likelihood of help but we appreciate your attempts to contact Karen Christ.
Speak to the manager
Karen Christ understands that everyone needs to drop a line to the manager every now and then. Feel free.
